Five Things Women Secretly Want in Bed But Are Too Afraid to Ask For..

1.Rough s3x.
You’d be surprised at the overwhelming number of women—including those you think had never experimented beyond missionary—who were really into rough s3x. I’m talking hair pulling, spanking, choking, even some face slapping. We tend to be apprehensive about asking for it because we’ve been socially drilled into believing that rough s3x is misogynistic and degrading to women. But getting a bit roughed up during s3x (within reason) is a fantasy, not a reality. And if it turns you on, why not? It doesn’t need to be full-on physical assault for the fantasy to play out, and chances are it’ll turn your partner on too! Try starting off a little slowly, asking him to hold your hair while you go down with him, and then encourage him to give a little tug. Or guide his hand to spank you where you want it. Then gauge his reaction to see how far you want to take it.
It's not as s3xy when we pull our own hair

2.Dirty Talk.
Whereas men are easily aroused visually, for women it’s a little more complex. Seeing a p3nis and having our boobs fondled is usually not enough to get a raging lady-boner. Most women need to be mentally stimulated as well, and dirty talk helps to activate the fantasy playing out inside our minds. But it’s sometimes hard to find your voice in bed. Again with the social conditioning, we’ve been taught that proper ladies don’t say bad words. Obviously our generation has been desensitized to a point, but it’s not easy to say “I want you to nail me to the wall me with your powerful co'ck” when an hour earlier you were primly discussing the latest MoMA exhibit over a bottle of Chardonnay. But dirty talk doesn’t have to be vulgar, and the key is convincing yourself that talking is okay. Start with something simple, like, “oh that feels nice, don’t stop.” Once you realize that the sound of your own voice isn’t so jarring, you’ll have trouble staying quiet. If you’d rather your man do the s3xy chatting, start by telling him what you’d like him to do to you, and then suggest that he tell you what he wants to do to you.

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3.Watching Po'rn.
Girls aren’t “supposed” to watch po'rn. Most of us do anyway, but it’s not something we usually talk about. Because watching po'rn means m@sturbating, and even though everybody knows that everybody does it, nobody talks about it. Especially not girls, in bed, about to get it on. But our reluctance to bring it up is more about our own socially self-imposed problem with girls watching po'rn, not with what the guy will think. But if you’re still unsure about asking for it because you want it, try suggesting it as a treat for him—“I really want to go down on you while you watch po'rn”—and then switch, so you can enjoy the show while he goes down on you. Eventually you can graduate to reproducing live what’s going on in the video. Just make sure you pick po'rn that does it for you. I know from experience that guys get turned on by pretty much anything, but not everything they like works for us.
Don't worry, this won't hurt a bit…

4.an@l.
I know girls who hate it, girls who are ambivalent, and girls who can’t get enough. When it comes to the b#tt, there is no generalization that applies to all women. But I do know that for those women who haven’t tried it and are curious about it, it’s a tricky subject to bring up. There’s a time for spontaneity in the bedroom, and this isn’t it. Without getting into details (you all have imaginations, use them), an@l s3x is probably something that’s best planned ahead of time (maybe after a shower and with plenty of lube handy). But planning things out is pretty much anathema to great s3x. This doesn’t have to impede your curiosity about an@l though. In the heat of the moment—when bringing up something dirty is less uncomfortable—ask if he’s ever done it and if he’d be interested in trying it next time. This means that you put the idea in his head, but don’t have to deal with figuring out how to make now the right moment. And just make sure you, um, do everything you need to do before you get it on...THIS IS A NO!NO! FOR ME THOUGH!

5.Dominant/Submissive Ro'le-playing.

When it comes to domination and submission, women are essentially f#cked if we do, f#cked if we don’t. Literally and figuratively. Sometimes we just want to strap on a saucy outfit, push a guy onto the bed, and take control. And sometimes we want to close our eyes, have our hands tied over our heads, and just let ourselves be ravaged. But we sometimes have trouble asking for it. It’s hard to ask to be dominant, because we don’t want to emasculate the guy. And it’s hard to ask to be dominated, because we’re afraid we’re being anti-feminist. But I’ve realized that the bedroom is no place for that kind of feminism—It’s the opposite of ar0'using—and there are more important things to stroke than egos. It’s probably easier to bring up wanting to be submissive (toss a pair of handcuffs at him, hold out your wrists together, and tell him he can have his way with you for the next hour), but there are tactful ways to bring up wanting to be in charge, too. You can tell him that you don’t want him to be able to move while you lick him all over. Or, once you maneuver your way on top, you can pin his arms over his head and say, “good thing I brought another way to keep your hands up here, because I’ll be needing my hands down here…”
There are more important things to stroke than egos

So there you have it. Even though I didn’t start writing this with the intention of giving advice, some nuggets of wisdom got away from me anyway. Occupational hazard of being a s3x columnist, I guess.

-renegadechicks.com