How To Last Longer In Bed

How To Last Longer In Bed: The Best Ways To Make Her 



 

So maybe you’re not the “One Minute Man” Missy Elliot rapped about in 2001, but if you’re still looking for ways to have longer-lasting erec'tions (and longer-lasting se'x), you’re not alone. Se'x experts agree that it’s one of the most common things men are insecure about—but they’re not always using the right methods. “Of course all men have their own extending technique, from thinking about football or baseball or counting backwards in their heads,” says A.L. Harper, a se'x expert and former editor of a UK-based men’s magazine.

“However, these distraction techniques can result in making them worse in bed because they aren't paying attention to their partner's pleasure.” If you’re curious to find out the real ways to last longer, we’ve asked three top industry experts to share the advice they give their clients—no Vi'agra required.

1. Study the Ka'ma Sut'ra. “There is a technique mentioned in the K'ama Su'tra for delaying ejac'ulations that basically comes down to training yourself to last longer,” says Harper. She instructs men to start slowly—with no more than one “in/out” stroke every three seconds. “He should then build more strokes slowly over the course of 4 or 5 minutes, until he is moving one stroke per second.” If the man starts to feel like he is going to come, he should stop and “hold himself inside his partner until he feels in control again. Then he begins the whole process again.”

2. Get Out of Your Head. “Performance anxiety is the number one killer of sustaining an ere'ction,” says s'ex coach Dr. Patti Britton, a board-certified Clinical Se'xologist. “Shift your thinking to a more confident inner voice, as opposed to a worried voice.” Britton explains that a “self-debilitating mindset” is what shuts guys down. “When you begin to feel anxiety, the strategy is to stop, take a breath, and then focus on how things feel in the body. Stay out of your head and get into your body—focus on the feelings that your body is producing for you.”

3. Change things up. The best thing to do if you’re getting close to the edge? Alter your speed, advises human se'xuality expert Catherine Toyooka, the founder of Catherine Coaches s'ex workshops. “Try teasing her. Take your penis out and rub just the head of it se'nsually up and down and between her labi'a. Vag'inas have lots of nerve endings clustered in the lower portion of their va'ginal c'anal, so this move will still be very enjoyable for her to experience.”

4. Slow down! “Instead of the fast-paced jack-hammering style that many men are so fond of, try taking your time,” says Toyooka. Se'x at a slower pace leads to a more connected experience for both people. “It’s more sen'sual because you are caressing and exploring the rest of her body. Kiss her neck, nuzzle her ear, let your hands gently explore her body,” she says. The most important thing to keep in mind that will help you last longer? Enjoy the journey that leads to your destination.


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5. Try a different kind of exercise. Dr. Britton suggests exercising the PC muscles (or pubo'coccygeus muscle, if we’re being technical). They’re the ones that stretch from the an'us to the urinary sphincter. To figure out how to squeeze and contract the PC muscles, try stopping your urine flow while you’re in the middle of pe'eing. You’ll know it when you try it. Three sets of 15 reps per day should do the trick. “Daily PC muscle reps help a guy to literally pump himself up. Squeezing those muscles triggers good blood flow to the pe'nis, which in turn leads to mental confidence,” she says.

6. Practice the 7 and 9 method. Similar to the Ka'ma Su'tra method (mentioned in no. 1, above), Harper recommends her favorite— the 7 and 9 technique. “It's 7 fast in/out strokes, followed by 9 slow in/out strokes. Then repeat: 7 fast, 9 slow, 7 fast, 9 slow,” she says. “This rhythm is good for guys who don't last quite as long as their partner needs, and good for the ladies as it establishes a good rhythm for her sti'mulation too.”

7. Don’t go deep. “If you feel that continued deep thrusting will bring on an all-too-quick org'asm, try penetrating only the lower portion of her va'gina—in other words, take more shallow thrusts,” says Toyooka. “Also, alternating between shallow and deep thrusts can make you last longer, and will also make the experience a lot more fun!”

8. Squeeze. Britton recommends that men explore the “squeeze technique.” “There are three areas of the pe'nis where squeezing or applying pressure can help a man sustain or maintain an ere'ction.” For the first, make a tight ring with the index finger and thumb around the base of the shaft when it is ere'ct, simulating a pen'ile ring. It can help a man keep blood flow to the engorged p'enis. The second: Apply pressure on the underside of the head. “That’s a male hot spot, densely packed with nerves,” Britton says. And finally, pressing on the “perineum,” or the spot between the an'us and the base of the tes'ticles. “It will feel like the tip of the nose. If he presses with his finger, it will congest the flow of ej'aculate and help quell the early release of the er'ection.”